Julia "Neguinha"

I used to love Julia because she was about my age and I was really close to her. I remember everyone used to call her “Neguinha” and that means “black girl” and she used to be so nice to me. I remember we did kiss few times but I never had the courage to have sex with her because I knew she had had sex with many people before. She had sold her body many times before and she was always with different street kids. She always tried to have me sleep with her but I was always afraid because people used to say she had a disease that killed but I never knew what that meant.

I remember one day at night we were seating on the streets and we were really close to each other and we started sharing our lives and our past. I don`t know what was happening to me because I hate sharing about my past but that day I was so open maybe because I felt safe around her. I told her about my father and my past and she just listened and many times she used to agree by nodding her head and that meant her father was very abusive to her too.

Then after I was done she started telling me her story by gazing at the floor. It was a horrific story and I will never forget it. She told me that her mother died by her father. Then her father turned the gun on himself and Julia was found sleeping on the bed between her parent` bed when she was only 3 and a half. They were really poor and they lived on the slums and they didn`t have furniture so they had to sleep together. Julia told me about the domestic violence she had to go through and the chaotic living.

Julia tried very hard to forget about what happened to her and her parents but after that incident she started having nightmares and she became very sad and frightening. When Julia was telling me her story she never looked at me and I remember she started crying telling me about her fears and worries. She was in my life for a year on the streets and after I left the streets, I did see her couple of times but now I have no idea if she`s alive or dead. I hope my “Neguinha” is alive because she was truly my friend and I really liked her because she was good to me.