Death is so Painful!!!

I am seating here and I am so overwhelmed by the lost of Edipo. He grew up with me in the restoration house in Belo, Brazil. I can’t believe that I just came back from his funeral because he was only 20 years old and still a long way to go in life. He died because of his bad choices in life. I can’t believe two months ago he was living in the restoration house with great missionaries that loved him and cared for his future. Now two days ago he was found dead in front of a brothel with no friends, family member, love or Jesus in his life. He had just got his driving permit and was working as a mechanic with a bright future ahead of him.

Edipo was a bright and wonderful person, intelligent, with special energy and God definitely loved him until his last breath. God was always chasing after him and still gave him the chance to reconcile to the people in YWAM and also to hear about God’s love to him one more time.

I wasn’t able to hold my tears in the ceremony because I was thinking about my lost brother. I haven’t seen my brother for 5 years and I have no idea if he’s alive or not. I hope and pray he is. Today I cried so hard and if you know me I never cry for any reason. But tears were coming so easily out of my eyes and I couldn't control those tears. I have always tried to be tough but inside I am someone that is full of grieve, pain and lost. I was so glad I had people from YWAM to hug me and comfort my spirit. We loaded a bus, a van, a car full of people to go to the ceremony of Edipo and it was so hard to see Edipo’ face. But I am so glad Jesus was there to comfort our hearts.

But today It has been a very sad day in YWAM and espeacilly for me and Anderson because our family is in the same situation as Edipo. Today, God please don't let me see miracles happening in my life and still give up some day in life. But God I desire pasionately to be faithful to you until the end of my life, Help me not to drop my cross. I want to serve and follow you God until the end. Please God, help me not to be like my father or my brothers. I want to be different and make something out of my life for your glory and honor. It doesn't matter what it is going to cost me but I will be not give up on you Jesus!!!

But when "pain" is dead, Who will take it to the mortuary? Who will bury it? Lets us get this right, I am not referring to pain as in physical wound or injury. I am referring to the pain of the heart, emotional pain, psychological pain. The kind of pain that is even more dangerous.

The only prize we can pay for pain is to cry (since it is painful). When we cry, we are telling pain that it cannot do anything rather than to make us cry and that crying is not enough reason for it (pain) to inflict us.

The main method of handling pain is to cry, grieve, endure and move on. This is the general method of handling pain. We should never allow pain to destroy our lives. We should never allow pain to remove our happiness. We should have control over pain and not pain having control over us.

Today Anderson and Myself are taking Alexandre and Lorinda out to go to Baby’ Beef just to honor them because they have laid their lives to help, encourage, pour into our lives and we want to thank and honor them. Alexandre and Lorinda are my parents and I am so thankful to God to have them in my life. God is always faithful and good!!! But He gives us the choice of choosing life over death, choosing light instead of darkness. Hallelua!!! Thank you Jesus!!!